Presence and Perseverance
I am not always 100% sure of myself and the things I can do; however, my presence says otherwise. When I fall or things don't go as planned, I persevere. Have you ever heard the phrase, "Fake it until you make it"? Well, I'm a pretty good faker. When I trip over my own two feet or walk crooked down the halls at work and people ask me if I'm OK, I always say, "All is well" with a smile on my face. Sometimes I wonder if I say that to convince them or convince myself that I'm OK but the good news is that it works both ways. After I say "All is well", I truly feel that way. Don't get me wrong. I have bad days just like everybody else but for the most part I present myself as a confident person who doesn't let my disease hold me back. Heck, when I’m sitting in a chair, no one can even tell I have Multiple Sclerosis. My neurologist makes jokes every time he sees me and says, “You look fine to me.” Then, he asks me to walk down the hall and back and we laugh at just how slow I am. I may be a little disabled but I’m not dead yet; I persevere and work through the challenges I am presented with when they occur.
If you’ve been following my blog, you know I have been presented with all kinds of challenges. For example, keeping up with my puppy Jackson, roller-skating, dancing, a bear hug, a specialty yoga class, and the sun (and many more to come) have all tested my resilience; however, I refuse to give up. I keep taking one baby step at a time and continue to laugh at myself and share my blooper moments with others so we can all laugh together. I have realized that it doesn’t matter how fast I walk or how much I get done in one day that defines me; it’s my aura that counts. If I maintain a smile on my face and a positive disposition, it doesn’t matter if I’m walking slow, using my wheelchair as a walker or being pushed in my wheelchair. It puts people at ease and they are more likely to smile and be inspired by me than to pity me which I appreciate immensely. I was explaining to a friend of mine a few weeks ago about the progress I have made on this blog and how I wish I could do so much more and he said to me, “As long as you are still moving forward, it doesn’t matter how fast you go. Just maintain the forward momentum and you will get there in due time.” I think of his words every time I get tired and/or slowed down by my MS symptoms. Although I may not move as fast or get as much done as a healthy person, it doesn’t matter. “All is well” and I am going to persevere!